I was praying yesterday, writing down some thoughts. I have over the next month some big questions to face and i started to say to God that i wanted to find him and know him again the way i used to when i was a teenager. I then got to thinking about the old road i used to travel down, and how those old roads seem to bring back a nostalgic view of being safe and familiar, and a strong sense of comfort and that if journeyed down again everything with be all right.
I used to travel down those old country lanes on my 50cc twist and go moped, it was a time in my life when i had the first taste of freedom and independence visiting friends and girlfriends when i wanted and on my own terms. And those roads were surrounded by the smells and sights of the most amazing parts of the English countryside, sunsets, sleepy clouds bimbling by, wildlife busy living, surviving, hiding and playing, grasses and fields full of crops. There was a sure and certain assurance that the world was turning and everything was enjoying the season as it should.
I guess in many ways this is what i was searching for in my prayer, some confidence that although the waters ahead seem somewhat choppy, that actually that is what is meant to be happening at this point. Just as the tides ebb and flow and the seasons change around us everything has its place and time, including uncertainty and worries.
And actually looking back at those old roads, things were never are certain as i now think that they were, but on reflection God was, and still is the quiet assurance veiled just out of sight but ever ready to guide, comfort and protect.
This is the tree i used to look out on as i travelled those old roads, i went back to find it last year and found that it is dying, and although i was sad to find this out, there is a quiet comfort that all things have their place and that coming and going, uncertainty and dying is as much a part of life as the immediate and now, and realising this allows us to live the life we have now more fuller than before….